It's an agreed upon, one time pass for a no-strings-attached, guilt-free sexual encounter with someone who is not your spouse, generally on a temporary or simply a one-time basis. --- Yeah guys, it's a thing,... and I'm all for it!
I for one, would love an open armpit affair! --- Perhaps an armpit "hall pass" is a better way to label it. --- Since my husband refuses to participate in any kind of pit passion with me, what if someday he'd allow me a "hall pass" with another fella!? Not for intercourse, but for a torrid tryst with some guys tasty and tantalizing underarm regions!
I have all the details worked out in my mind! And if my spouse ever said "yes", I would immediately reach for my cell phone make a very special call.
PLEASE NOTE: The following conversation is a fictional transcript of what that call would be like. It features my side of the dialog only.
ME:(Thinking to myself) I don't know exactly what I'm going to say, but I'm gonna dial his number right now, before I loose my nerve.
[Press the YouTube play button for the sound effect.]
[After a couple of rings, he picks up. I nervously greet him.]
ME: "Oh,... hey hi Homer! It's me, Enrique,... Ricky.
Yeah, I know it's been a while.
Sure, sure, everything's good. Listen, I have a have something kinda weird to discuss with you.
You see, my guy and I have been fighting a lot lately about sex. Or more specifically, it's the armpit thing: I dig 'em, he hates 'em.
Yes, yes, of course I'm still an armpit lover!
So, the other day, I just had it with him. It always seems like our married sex life is about what he wants and what turns him on! I was so frustrated I started yelling, and soon after I start crying like an injured child.
Well, I guess he was finally tired of hearing me complain about my needing some pit play and pressuring him to give it to me. So he,... well,... he came up with a compromise. And it's a weird one.
Let me tell ya, immediately after that conversation, he and I had some of the best sex of our entire relationship!
What's that? Who's the one guy? Funny you should ask.
Well, for some strange reason you were the one guy who came to my husband's mind.
I guess 'cause back when he and I were first dating --- you know, during the stage where lovebirds tend to overshare --- I told him that you and I use to fool around with each other when we were younger. I didn't divulge all the details, but I did admit to introducing you to pit play.
Now before you give us your answer, we came up with a couple of ground rules. You and I have to keep our "joysticks" in our pants, and our mouths above the waist. Is that cool with you?
That's great!!!
Plus, it's monthly, if you have the time or interest.
Perfect!!!
Dude, I'm so excited! I have so many fond memories of your armpits!
You know, my hubby follows you on Instagram, so he knows how you look nowadays as well as what you wear to work,... and of course which restaurants you like to eat at.
Me? Oh sure, I follow you on Instagram,... but, I also follow your naughty "Gay Twitter" account!
Hell no, he's never seen your Twitter feed! You've got all those smutty selfies posted on that site.
Well duh,... of course, all the time! I enjoy checking out your photos, I mean pornos!
[We both laugh. My mind wanders...]
Really dude!? Driving around shirtless!? You're gonna cause some gay guy to have an accident on the road!
If my husband ever saw those photos, he'd never, EVER allow me near those sweet, hairy pits of yours!
[We both laugh.]
What? Well, if you don't mind, I'd rather not say.
Oh okay, okay! Geez Homer, I confess,... on more than one occasion I have used a few of your social media pit pics to,... shall we say, "relieve my frustrations." After all, I am only human!
I stare at the photos, I remember your scent,... the taste of your underarm hair,...
Knowing that I once had those furry turfs in my mouth! Wow!!!
Boy, I'll bet this is making your head swell, you conceited twerp!
Okay, okay, stop patting yourself on the back! ¡HÃjole, Homero!,... you're still as cocky as ever, aren't you?
Well, I guess you're right. Like you always use to boast, "It's not being conceited if it's true!"
There's a very good reason you were selected. My sweetie says he knows I would never leave him for you, because,... well, because you and I are related.
Our moms would flip out and be sooooo upset! Why, they'd both give us the business end of their chanclas for sure!
[We laugh.]
Look, I'm making a quick trip upstate to your city this weekend. Can we meet Saturday night?
Great! Oh, and dude, I better warn ya, I'm starved for some serious pit passion! You better get ready to be ravished!
And by the way, thanks! You may just help save my marriage.
Yes, yes,... you're definitely some kind of a sexy saint.
Huh, what's that?
Uh, nooooo!!! I doubt that my husband would ever be interested in watching me taking pleasure from any part of another man's body. Or me make another guy moan in ecstasy. Especially with how loud you tend to get.
Well,... okay. If you want,... sure, I'll ask him if he wants to be in the room and watch. Kinda weird,... but I guess I can ask. It would be interesting.
Hmmm?
What does he get out of it? Well, for one, he doesn't have to hear me gripe about how much I miss playing with men's armpits.
Also, he's super into feet and says I give really bad foot rubs. So, if he lets me do this, I'll allow him to go out and find some blonde himbo to play footsie with him,... as long as they both keep their pants on as well.
Yeah, it's sorta sad our marriage has come to this, but hey, as long as it helps us stay together and happy, he and I are willing to try this "hall pass" idea.
Well anyway Homey, thanks for agreeing to be my armpit "hall pass". I owe you one.
Yes, yes, it's sweet of you to ask, but I'm sure that's the only kind of "hall pass" I need right now. --- You HORNDOG!!!
Oh, and one more thing, do me a favor. Please bring those eyeglasses of yours. I'm sure you remember how guys with glasses really, REALLY get me going!
Okay, guess I'll see you this weekend! Sure. Bueno,... bye!"
[We both hang up.]
ME:(Aloud to myself) Wow,... that actually just happened!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Well Pit Pals, I hope you enjoyed this little blog fantasy. The conversation with my hubby or my relative will probably never, never, never, EVER happened in real life,... only in my fantasy. --- Rats!!! But what a fantasy!
NOTE: Pictures collected for the collages, clipart, as well as the pit pics used for this blog entry were all found online.
As part of my fantasy ensemble of actors I'd love to cast sexy Gero from Twitter to portray my oh-so-willing hunky relative, Homer.
You can visit the real Gero on Twitter: @Geodan009 . (Simply click on the yellow link.) Once there, you can find the link to his OnlyFans page as well, for a more... mature experience!
Lastly, I'd love for us to keep in touch! So, I invite you to my main online platforms:
Follow my Armpit Lover blog, here on Blogger @Confessions Of An Armpit Lover . --- Click the follow button on this page to keep up with the latest postings.
Also connect with me through 1 of my 3 social media sites...
NOTE: Just click on the yellow links.
Also connect with me through 1 of my 3 social media sites...
Facebook @EnriqueHenryArmpitLover ,
#armpits #gay #armpitlover #pitlover #ArmpitLove #fetish #armpitfetish #pitworship #pits #axilla #axillae #underarms #sovaco #oxter #kilikili #hairyarmpits #GayCousins #Gerdan009
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