Attention! Attention! We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for some very important, eye-opening news!
ANCHORMAN: Welcome back to PNN! We now, go LIVE to Venice, Italy, and hear from our lead correspondent, Enrique Henry, for a huge, sensational story!
ENRIQUE: Thanks, Ron! Greetings, fellow armpit lovers of the world! This is Enrique Henry with my trusty camera man, Randy, reporting on Friday, September 5th, LIVE at the 2022 Venice Film Festival!
We're here at the premiere of the new romantic, horror film, BONES AND ALL, starring someone we all know, and worship... Timothée Chalamet!
Mr. Chalamet is known worldwide to fans for his work in the hit movies CALL ME BY YOUR NAME and DUNE, to name but a few. --- The highly acclaimed 26 year old is also famous for his alluring face, wavy hair and armpits!
Awww, the pit prince is about to grace the fair festival with his charming, presence!
Oh, oh, oh! Dear viewers, he has arrived!
Holy guacamole! Why, it appears he's wearing fitted crimson red trousers,... and a,... a matching backless halter top! That's right, a crimson red, backless halter top!
The audience gasps in unison,... stays silent but for a second,... then erupts in thunderous applause and shouts of approval! Goodness, just listen to the rainstorm-like sound of those paparazzi cameras, frantically clicking away! The shutterbugs madly attempt to capture this iconic moment in fashion,... and armpit history!
There perhaps may be other world famous royalty in attendance at this event, but our sexy, slender sovereign reigns supreme!
Rulers usually inspect the troops, however at this event, the troops are inspecting,... nay, ogling the ruler! And what they see is surprising, yet most appealing indeed!
Dressed in red (sans sleeves and modesty) he gives his subjects what they long for,... what they need: to see his sweet face, his soft wavy locks, and of course his dark hairy pit hair!
Daaaang, Chalamet! Delight our hearts with your smile! Kiss our eyes with the sight of your furry pits!
Randy, pan the camera around and see if you can capture the reaction of the fans in the stands!
Ladies and gentlemen, there are hundreds, upon hundreds of teenage girls and grown men crying in the stands!
Crying as they behold the beauty of Prince Chalamet in his regal red couture!
Oh my!!! What's going on? What's happening?! Oh look, look! He's waving, he's waving! --- Quick, zoom in, Randy! Zoom in!!!
Yes, yes, yes!
Sì, sì, sì, bellissimo principe! Wave to your loyal subjects, most handsome prince, wave to us,... so that we may better view your 'belle ascelle'!
Oh my! Please forgive me, ladies and gentlemen! Please forgive me,... as I take a few moments to wipe away the tears from my eyes, and catch my breath! --- Keep the camera focused on the prince, Randy! Whatever you do, keep the camera focused on the prince!
Strands of dark, luxurious pit hair peek from under his arm. Wowzah!!!
Thankfully, the unbinding fabric of the titilating top kindly never conceals that which we armpit lovers lust after!
Long may he reign, in the Kingdom of Hollywood,... forever in films,... and eternally in our hearts!
For PNN, the PITS NEWS NETWORK, this has been Enrique Henry, reporting LIVE from Venice, Italy. Now, back to you Ron, in the studio! --- Whew! Quick, catch me Randy! Catch me! I'm about to faint!
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Well, Pit Pals, I hope you enjoyed my fantasy coverage of Mr. Chalamet's uncovered underarms. His red carpet "peacock moment" made worldwide headlines, and heads spin in euphoric glee! You no doubt can see why! 😍💓😈
To view videos of Timothée and his crimson halter in motion, click on the YouTube play buttons:
(All images used for this entry, including the photos for the collages, plus the videos, were found online.)
To read my movie review of CALL ME BY YOUR NAME simply click on the following link:
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