Greetings, fellow armpit lovers! As most of you already know, I LOVE pit play. However, my longtime sweetie refuses to partake in any kind of "underarm hanky-panky" with me.
Some years ago, when I was a young lad, I saw famous sex therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, make a guest-star appearance on a popular LIVE daytime TV talk show.
A sex-starved, female audience member asked for advice on finding some kind of remedy. Dr. Ruth seriously recommended that the lady relieve her own frustrations with naughty toys or even certain firm vegetables found in the kitchen! The show's host, along with the entire studio audience, were visibly shocked and roared with laughter! --- Me? I took serious notes.
Like many of you, I was a curious, but closeted, gay teen. I played around with various household items in hopes of finding a satisfying substitute for an amorous lover.
Now that I'm a grown man, I find myself still seeking "simulated stimulation", but mostly for my lonely pits. And I'm not the only one.
Since I began my blog, many men from around the world and all walks of life, have confided in me that they too have lonely pits.
Nowadays, there are all kinds of kinky toys for lonesome men's joysticks, feet, nips and private places where the sun don't shine. These apparatuses are plentiful and easy to find in specialty shops or online.
Alas, I've experimented and searched the Internet, but to my knowledge, personal entertainment "doodads and doohickeys" to perfectly pleasure one's own pits are nonexistent!
Now, please allow me to take a brief detour and we'll circle right back around.
A friend of mine, Bradley, told me this true story. When he was a shy teen, he enjoyed using carrots for his private "pleasure sessions".
However, that all stopped when his father found some used, stained carrots discarded in the teenager's bedroom trash can.
Fortunately for Bradley, his dad was a very progressive thinking, and non-judgmental parent. --- I suspect that canned sliced carrots were on the family's grocery list from that point on. 😊
You know, many a lonely night, I've pondered, "What if I discover that a common vegetable can fulfill my armpit lovin' needs? Imagine if something already in my refrigerator could perfectly hit my pit spot. Like for instance, a cucumber!"
If it were a reality, pit loving guys would quickly raid the local supermarkets worldwide!
The cucumber could become an armpit lovers' new best friend!
Maybe "pit play starved" boyfriends and husbands could meet in each others homes for very special veggie nights!
And me? I no doubt would need to get a second job, just to afford my new produce addiction!
So, will there ever be a proper substitute for an armpit lover in my lifetime? Will scientists one day, invent a self-love toy exclusively for the male underarm?
Oh, how I wish there were some kind of machine that could satisfy my favorite fetish!
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| Illustration by @boreddudeonline on DeviantArt |
Although I see many fun, illustrated designs online, none are available in the real world. --- Hmmm, I may just have to start getting creative with some gadgets around the apartment.
Sorry my dear area rugs, but every vacuum cleaner available is going to be busy working on the shag carpets under my arms for the next few days.
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Hey Pit Pals! Are you into tickling or being tickled? Then, check out this special blog entry, featuring masterful machines designed to get the job done! --- Simply click on the yellow link.
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| Yum! If the guy were a vegetable, he'd be a cute-cumber. |
[NOTE: Most of the pictures and clipart used for this blog entry were found online. However, photos of Bradley, his dad, plus the veggie loving, bearded guy (meant to represent me) were all downloaded from my paid subscription to Adobe Stock, a royalty-free, stock image provider.]
Lastly, I'd love for us to keep in touch!
Please follow my Armpit Lover blog, here on Blogger @Confessions Of An Armpit Lover . --- Click the follow button on this page to keep up with the latest postings.
Plus, to connect with me regularly through my social media sites, visit my all-in-one link page on Willow: @enriquehenry100 .
NOTE: Just click on the yellow link.
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