MY DAD:
(He arrives home and enters the family room to find me watching a rather erotic slideshow on the Internet.) What the...!? Boy, what in tarnation are you looking at on that dang laptop of yours!!!
(The auto-play mode is on. Slide, after sizzling slide continues to appear on the screen, displaying pit pics of a very hot hunk, showing off his hairy armpits.)
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| SLIDE #1 OF 12 |
ME:
Woah Dad, you surprised me!!! I didn't know you'd be home from work so early!
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| SLIDE #2 OF 12 |
DAD:
Son, just what is it you're watching?
ME:
Dad,... I'm so, so sorry,... I can explain!
DAD:
Goodness! That's some dirty dude showing off his pits! Son, why's that armpit porn on your laptop?
ME:
Actually, I don't think this qualifies as real porn!
DAD:
(My father surprisingly stops his tirade.) Okay, okay,... let me calm down. --- Tell me boy,... is there something you need to share with me? --- Now, don't be ashamed. After all, it is PRIDE month, you know.
ME:
Dad!!! Please, please, stop!
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| SLIDE #3 OF 12 |
DAD:
Look,... I've been prepared for this day since you were in kindergarten. You were born this way, and that's okay, Son. Your mother and I didn't want to pressure you to come out to us, until you were ready!
ME:
Do we HAVE to talk about this now?
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| SLIDE #4 OF 12 |
Son, don't be afraid to share with me. Speak your truth! Just come out and admit it,... you're,... you're,... an armpit lover.
ME:
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| SLIDE #5 OF 12 |
You don't understand! --- Man, this is sooooo fricking embarrassing!
DAD:
Now Son,... love, is love, is love! It's a natural thing! You're a good-looking, talented and funny young man. Well,... you do have a weird sense of humor, but still,... some people might think you're funny! --- There's bound to be some guy at school who'd like to date you! You don't have to spend hours, upon hours looking for love on smutty, naughty Internet sites!
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| SLIDE #6 OF 12 |
ME:
Stop it, Dad!! Stop it!!! --- Okay, okay, you figured me out! I'm an armpit lover! A big ol' card carrying, true blue, lover of pits! There, I've admitted it! Are you happy!?
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| SLIDE #7 OF 12 |
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Look Son, I love you. Your mom loves you. We will ALWAYS love you, no matter who you love or how you express that love.
But I just gotta say,... trust me boy,... everything on social media is hyper-intensified-reality. Unless you're someone like Martha Stewart, regular people don't have Instagram worthy, gourmet meals for all 3 meals, every day of the week. Real lovemaking is different than online lovemaking. You don't need to compare...
ME:
I know, Dad! I know!
DAD:
Well then boy,... do you have anything to say for yourself about that smut on your laptop?
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| SLIDE #8 OF 12 |
ME:
Uhhhh, yes. --- Dad, this is not my laptop,... it's yours.
Remember we bought our laptops together. They're the same model, so they look alike. You were the last one to leave the house this morning. The screen was probably left on when you took off to work. The slideshow was running on a loop when I came home from school. I was going to shut it off before Mom got home.
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| SLIDE #9 OF 12 |
DAD:
whoops,... oh, i see...
ME:
So Dad, tell me,... is there something you need to say to me? Come on, don't be afraid to share with me. Speak your truth! Just come out and admit it,...
DAD:
Well Son,... I,... I,... I too am an armpit lover!
ME:
I figured. But hey, it's a natural thing. I will ALWAYS love you Dad!
DAD:
Thanks, Son.
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| SLIDE #10 OF 12 |
ME:
Well, I guess we better hurry and shut off the slideshow before Mom gets here.
DAD:
Gosh, you're right!
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| SLIDE #11 OF 12 |
Oh, but wait a minute! --- Hold on, hold on! I haven't seen that picture yet! Nor THAT one!
DAD:
Whoa, me neither! --- Wowzah!!!
ME:
Wowzah indeed, Dad! Wowzah, indeed!!!
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| SLIDE #12 OF 12 |
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Greetings, fellow armpit lovers! I hope you enjoyed my little, fictional, father/son "coming out" scenario.
Hey, here's a true story for ya. I grew up in an uptight, very conservative household. When I was a high-school senior, my father and I had "the talk" about the birds and the bees. Somehow, the entire conversation quickly deviated into multiple reasons why I should never smoke cigarettes, nor allow my peers to pressure me into taking a puff. Honest! We were finished with our chat within 15 minutes, and never once did Dad mention the word "sex". --- I hope "the talk" with your parent went far better than mine.
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| New Pride Flag with the Armpit Fetish Flag |
(All images used for this entry were found online.)
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| Daniel Osgood |
By the way, the armpit Adonis, proudly exposing his pits in this blog entry, is the oh, so sexy Daniel Osgood. He's all over the Internet, and seems to be the current "it guy" of armpits! Wow, you can certainly see why! 😍 --- Check out his Twitter feed by clicking on the yellow link: @D4nielOsgood .
Plus, if you enjoyed this blog entry, click on the following link to check out another one of my popular dad-themed posts:
Lastly, I'd love for us to keep in touch! So, I invite you to my main online platforms:
Please follow my Armpit Lover blog, here on Blogger @Confessions Of An Armpit Lover . --- Click the follow button on this page to keep up with the latest postings.
Plus, to connect with me regularly through my social media sites, or buy me a coffee, visit my all-in-one link page on Willow: @enriquehenry100 .
NOTE: Just click on the yellow link.
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