So, I've been dreaming up a soap opera about guys with armpit fetishes who live in a small college town named Pits-Burg. The town is known for its many craters created by a large meteor shower centuries ago. Nowadays, the more popular craters are found under the arms of its sexy, male population.
NOTE: To catch up with all 3 storylines visit PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera .
In this chapter, all three stories crossover. Not only is this installment a little recap, but also a fun peek into the minds of each of the three, armpit loving friends:
THE 3 AMIGOS: PACO, "CLIP" & DARIO
Clifford Sweeney (mockingly nicknamed "Clip" by the college basketball team) arrives promptly at the coffee shop, near town square. Upon entering, he waves to his friends waiting at a table in the far corner, and goes to grab the 3 drinks he pre-ordered online.
The dashing barista, behind the counter (who's also the owner) graciously greets him. Sweeney smiles and says, "Hey Geoffrey, congratulations! Gilles tells me you're catering at mega billionaire Oscar Arco's huge, private soiree."
"Why yes," Geoffrey enthusiastically responds as he hands the young man a tray with 3 coffees. "My staff and I are providing the desserts and coffee."
Cliff exclaims, "Well, the shindig is sure to be be the biggest event of the season."
"Knowing Arco, it's sure to be a very kinky affair as well," winks Geoffrey.
Clifford thanks the owner and begins to walk away. However, the beautiful barista has one more thing to add, "Oh Cliff! When you see Gilles, please say hi to his dimples for me."
Mr. Sweeney responds by grinning like a Cheshire cat. He then travels with his tray to the table at the far end of the cafe.
There, waiting for him with welcoming smiles, are his 2 closest friends: Paco and Dario. The 3 amigos met at THE HAIRY HOLLOW BAR, their freshman year of college. They bonded over their mutual appreciation of modern art, sexy men and hairy armpits.
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| The 3 Amigos (Clockwise, starting from the left:) camboy "Paco", coach's assistant "Clip" & gay twin "Dario" |
Dario stands to greet him, "Well hello stranger!" He helps Cliff with the coffee, then gives the guy a big hug.
Paco also rises to embrace his friend, "Wow, it's been so long since we've all gotten together."
The friends sit down and spend a few minutes chatting about the latest art show at the gallery, they judge who's the hottest guy in the coffee shop (as usual, Geoffrey wins unanimously), then the conversation turns more personal.
Dario inquires, "So, how's Coach Harrison doing these days?"
"Well, Coach wasn't feeling too well this morning," Clifford sighs. "I had to talk him into canceling basketball practice."
"You're so good with him, Cliffy," remarks Dario. "You're kind of like the son he never had."
Clifford agrees and explains, "Let me tell you, being raised by my grumpy grandpa really trained me for handling ol' Coach Harrison."
Paco teases, "Being raised by your grandfather also taught you how to be super corny."
"Hey, my humor is classic, not corny," chuckles Cliff.
Paco reports, "Say, I was checking out the school's sports page online and saw a picture of the latest addition to the basketball team! Opa!, the guy is really good-looking!"
"I agree! So 'Clip', did you clip the new guy's axilla fur with that hungry razor of yours?" grills Dario.
"No, not yet, but let me tell you, he's soooo gorgeous!" Clifford informs his pals. "And, turns out we know each other. I had the biggest crush on him in middle school."
In unison Paco and Dario scream, "You mean T.J.!!!???"
"The one and only. WOW-ZAH, the guy's the most wonderful man I've ever met! He's beautiful inside and out," Cliff shares. "We spend some time together. --- I flirted with him, he flirted with me. Things were going pretty well."
Clifford can't help but grin as he divulges to his buddies all that occurred in the locker room, then later inside the art gallery's workroom. He recounts how he took a paint brush and drew a big red heart around Theo's lush underarm carpet. His school boy crush was standing shirtless before him, the electric razor was ready, all was going smoothly,... then everything came to a sudden halt. The sexy jock found out that Cliff hadn't been transparent with the rest of the players. "Now I have to come clean to the entire squad about my scheme," he sadly conveys. "Otherwise, Theo is not only refusing to donate his pit hair, but also refusing to have anything to do with me. --- And of course, without his underarm trimmings, my whole deal with Oscar Arco is off."
Both Paco and Dario reach over and give their chum a supportive, warm hug.
Just then, an angry young stud walks up to their table. Pointing at Dario he barks, "You!!! You!!! Hey Handsome, you ruined my brand new shoes!" --- It's none other than Peyton, Paul's self-centered and obnoxious younger brother,... and Paco's least favorite person.
Dario is puzzled, "Excuse me, have we met?"
"You're the freak who puked all over my shoes last night at THE HAIRY HOLLOW BAR!" Peyton heatedly charges.
Still perplexed Dario adamantly states, "I'm sorry man, you're confused. I wasn't at THE HOLLOW last night. It must have been someone else."
But Peyton doesn't buy it and blares, "What!!?? Do you think I'm stupid!?"
Paco leans over to prompt his friend, "The correct answer is yes."
An exasperated Peyton recounts the events, "Remember? I had my arm raised high and you walked up to me, ready to give me a lick. Then without warning, you splattered my shoes with regurgitated chunks." --- He sees the innocent, baffled stare on Dario's beautiful face and concedes. "Forget it, you're too cute. I forgive you, Handsome. But you should watch your alcohol intake. You got so drunk it made you puke."
Paco interjects, "Naw, he wasn't drunk. It was probably your personality that made him hurl."
"Alright Paco," Dario calmly intercedes. "Hey, I'm sorry Peyton, but I truly don't know what you're talking about. I promise you, it wasn't me."
"Lucky for you my shoes were washable, but you still owe my armpit a lick, dude," he teases. Turning to Paco he says, "Anyway, I'll see you later at your sister's birthday party."
"Thanks for the warning," the camboy quips as Peyton leaves the coffee shop.
Clifford observes, "Jeepers, you really don't like him. Too bad, the guy's porn pretty and oooozing with swagger and sex appeal."
Paco sits back down and scooches his chair closer to Dario, then ponders, "So sweetie, if you weren't at the club last night,... it must have been 'you know who' that was there. --- I bet It was your twin!"
Cliff interjects, "Wait! What!? But I thought he was straight?"
Dario's softly answers, "Yes he is, but.,... but,..."
"No, no buts!" Clifford insists. "Why is hetero David hanging out at a gay bar trying to lick some stranger's armpit?"
Turns out Dario has been keeping mum about his sibling's dilemma. However, now that his close friends suspect something is going on he feels he has to confess it all. --- He tells them about his twin's obsession to join a prestigious fraternity at the college. Through an inside source, David has learned that the next scheduled hazing will consist of each pledge being blindfolded and forced to lick and suck the sweaty armpits of several senior fraternity brothers. Out of sheer panic, the overly nervous sibling came to his gay twin, begging for some emergency, "one on one" tutoring.
An embarrassed Dario explains, "So, let's just say I've been helping him out."
"You mean helping him out... of his pants!" Cliff giggles.
"No!" Dario immediately asserts. "No, no, I swear, we're NOT screwing around and we've never done anything like this with each other before. Even as kids."
"You guys know I love my brother," he continues. "It was heartbreaking to see his desperate tears. So, against my better judgement I agreed to train him. --- It's a bad solution for a good reason. --- But heck, the whole situation is haunting me. Like you guys, I get very turned on by men's underarms. It's such a powerful fetish! So unfortunately, licking my twin's tasty pits really gets me going. They're pure ambrosia!"
Dario's friends sit spellbound and silent, hanging onto every word.
"And if all that wasn't bad enough, my twin and I have a sensory bond, therefore I can sense what he's feeling. So when he gets excited, I feel his excitement, which makes me go wild, which makes Davy get even more into it,... and before you know it, we both loose control and explode! --- I've lost count of how many quarters I've had to use these last few weeks, just to wash my bed sheets."
Cliff tries to restrain himself, but has to ask, "Sooo, I was wondering,... since David's your twin, do his armpits taste the same as yours?"
"Cale a boca, dude!" Paco shushes his buttinski buddy in Portuguese. "What a thing to ask!" He scolds him with a playful swat to the arm.
"Oh puh-leeeze, Miss Priss! Like no one at this table has ever sampled his own pitters," Cliff charges. "Come on, show of hands,... who has never tasted his own underarm candy?"
No hands are raised. No one is surprised. All three laugh hysterically.
"Thanks for listening, guys. Just sharing my secret with you two has helped relieve some of the stress I've been feeling", Dario declares. "Obviously, David's oral test at THE HAIRY HOLLOW was a flop, so I'm determined to keep training my brother until the night of the hazing. --- Anyway, next subject." He turns to Paco and asks, "So, have you figured out the identity of your secret, online admirer yet?"
"As a matter of fact, I did," Paco informs them. "However, there's one major problem."
"Oh no, don't tell me he's your relative too?" Cliff teases, referring to Dario's dilemma.
Paco is silent and begins to blush.
Dario becomes suspicious, "Nooooo! Is it that hunky brother-in-law of yours?"
Paco remains coy, "I'd rather not say."
Clifford reacts with shock, "Ohhhhhhh man, it is, it is!!!"
"Shhhhh!" Paco quickly hushes his confidants, looking around to make sure no one is listening.
In low tones, Paco relates how he first suspected the true identity of his anonymous online admirer. He also describes the recent intense hugs with his shirtless, muscular-in-law, mentioning the intoxicating smell of the former pro athlete's warm underarms. The camboy confesses to trying on Paul's discarded work shirt, digging his nose in the pits, and soaking in the he-man's woodsy cologne and sweaty musk. --- Lastly, he recaps how he accidentally called out Paul's real name, just before he and "PassionatePascal" were about to have online sex for the first time.
"So of course, no surprise, Paul logged off immediately," Paco recounts. "I've tried getting in touch with him several times. We really need to talk, but he's not accepting my phone calls."
Dario remarks, "Paco, are you insane!?"
"And what about Petra!?" Cliff chimes in.
"I swear to you guys, all those nights in the chatroom, I didn't know 'PassionatePascal' was my sister's husband", he assures them. "We got super close, not only flirting, but baring our souls to one another online for weeks. Now that I know his real identity and he knows that I know, things are very complicated. Yet, my thinking is that if Paul is gay, he shouldn't be with Petra. My sister deserves to be happy, but shouldn't Paul also? Trust me, I'm not looking to go to bed with the guy, I just really want to discuss this confusing mess with him."
Dario advises, "Honey, you might just have to move on, if he's not willing to talk you."
"Well, I may get my chance this evening," Paco explains. "Petra's girlfriends are throwing her a surprise, 80's themed birthday party at her house tonight. No doubt Paul's gonna be there. So, I'm planning to confront him privately at the party."
"I guess Petra's not the only one getting a big surprise tonight!" cracks Cliff.
Shaking his head in disbelief, Dario states,"Wow gentlemen, it seems our lives are a little soap opera-ish right now."
"Yeah, but DAYS OF OUR LIVES never included so many yummy armpits," Paco jests.
Clifford points out, "Hey remember fellas,... no matter what happens with our soapy situations, we always have each other to lean on and we know what's important in life."
They nod in agreement, then raise their drinks in the air. Together they recite their longtime, personal cheer, "To modern art, sexy men, and HAIRY ARMPITS!!!" Many customers in the cafe turn and stare in amusement as the 3 amigos clink their coffee cups together.
From the other end of the coffee shop Geoffrey shouts, "I'll drink to that!" --- The 3 buddies burst out laughing uncontrollably.
[TO BE CONTINUED...]
All collage photos and pics for this blog entry were found online. Featured in this chapter as my fantasy leading men are (pictured below, left to right) Marlon Teixeira as (Paco), Robin James ("Clip") and twin Márcio Patriota (Dario).
The guys I'd choose for the guest-starring roles are Matthieu Charneau (Peyton) and Daniel Henney (Geoffrey the coffee shop owner).
Interested in additional, naughty underarm drama? Simply click on the following yellow links to read related soapy stories:
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#1)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#4)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#7)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#10)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#13)
TWINS DAVID & DARIO
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#2)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#5)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#8)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#11)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (Chapter 14)
"CLIP" & THE BASKETBALL TEAM
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#3)
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#6)
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Visit my Pinterest page for more armpit entertainment @www.pinterest.com/enriquehenry100 .
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NOTE: PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera is entirely a work of fiction. Any similarity to any persons (living or deceased) is strictly coincidental, and no identification of any kind with any such person is intended or implied.
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