Page 121 - PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#12)

So, I've been dreaming up a soap opera about guys with armpit fetishes who live in a small college town named Pits-Burg.  The town is known for its many craters created by a large meteor shower centuries ago.  Nowadays, the more popular craters are found under the arms of its sexy, male population.

NOTE: You may first want to read PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#3), PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#6)  and PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#9) to catch up with this storyline.  Simply click on the yellow links.


The story continues:


"CLIP" & THE BASKETBALL TEAM
Clifford Sweeney (mockingly nicknamed "Clip" by the college basketball team) stands in the middle of the art gallery's workroom, surrounded by 11 large paintings, each portraying a member of the squad.  As an added attraction, every painting has the players' actual armpit hair clippings bonded to the underarms of its shirtless subjects.

Gilles, the owner of the gallery, stands at the doorway, barechested in his work pants, mortified that Cliff has invited Theo in, to see what they've been secretly working on for months.

With eyes watering from a mix of disappointment and anger Theo yells, "Tell me, I demand to know!  How much money are you getting for all this pit porn!?"

Clifford sighs and whispers his answer, "Over two million dollars."

"What!!!???  Boy, oh boy!  'Good Ol' Scheming Sweeney', you're playing in the big leagues now!" he sarcastically praises his old classmate, as he wipes away the tears.  "You've certainly surpassed those days of dealing comic books from your junior high locker.  Now you're selling the armpit hair of college boys to a bunch of rich, dirty old men."

Cliff embarrassingly replies, "No, not a bunch, just one,... very rich,... very dirty,... old man.  His name is,..."

"No, mon ami, no!" Giles nervously interrupts his young friend.  "Telling Theo will complicate matters.  The less people who know, the better."

Just then, the gallery owner's cell phone rings.  The handsome Frenchman goes to the large table in the middle of his workspace and sees the name on the caller ID.  "Bon sang!" he cruses beneath his breath.  Gilles turns to the boys and says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I must answer this call.  He picks up the phone and touches the accept button.  "Bonjour, Monsieur!" he greets the mysterious caller, feigning a cheerful tone.  The now high-strung hunk hastily leaves the room and makes his way to the showroom up front, in order to avoid Theo from hearing the conversation.

Trying to keep himself from yelling the upset jock says, "You know what?  I agree with Gilles, don't tell me.  I don't want to know all the lewd details or be an accomplish to your salacious scheme."

Clifford is desperate to get his middle school crush to fully understand the mystery.  He turns up the charm, "T.J., I'm begging you please!  Please, pretty please with sugar on top!  Will you listen for just one minute, so I can finish explaining?  It's not another get-rich-quick scheme, I swear!  Look, I promise to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but.  ---  Do you think I would have brought you here to see everything we're doing, if I didn't want to be open and honest with you?  Theo, your opinion of me is important, 'cause dude, I really like you.  And I really, REALLY want you to like me too."

The ball player sees the sincerity in Cliff's captivating blue eyes and cautiously gives in, "Okay, okay, but don't lie to me, man.  If you do, I'll never forgive you.  ---  So, start explaining."

At the same time, in the main gallery, Gilles stands near the storefront window, which is as far away from his studio workroom as he can get without walking outside.  Passers-by stare inside as the shirtless artist, in his lightweight linen pants, paces barefooted back and forth, while talking on his cell phone.  He's speaking with his biggest and richest client, mega billionaire Oscar Arco.  

Gilles turns on the French charm as he assures his customer that there are no problems with the project, "No worries, Mr. Arco.  Clifford is taking care of the final acquisition as we speak.  Everything will be completed as promised for the big event."

In an attempt to quickly end the call and return to the emergency situation in his workroom, the painter expresses concern, "Wait monsieur, it sounds like you're driving.  Why don't you give me a call back later."

"Oscar Arco"

"Awwww, it's nice to know you care, Gilly Boy," responds the deep, husky voice on the other end of the line.  "Don't worry, my driver is taking me for a spin by the college in one of my new cars.  I'm riding safe and cozy in the backseat.  In fact, it's mighty wide and spacious back here.  Whadda ya say I stop by the gallery to pick you up?  We can take a ride to the outskirts of town and see the craters.  I'd love to have you help me properly break in the backseat."

The gallery owner quickly and cleverly makes his excuse, "How flattering Oscar, but I'm very busy at the moment, trying to finish all 12 paintings on time.  So, as I said, do not fret, we have everything under control.  I'll message you when Clifford finishes collecting the last of the axilla hair clippings."

A strong and raucous laugh is heard over the phone, "Ha-ha-ha!  You know, I don't envy many people in life, but I must say, I'm pretty jealous of that scrappy, little armpit barber.  He has the best job in the world.  I saw a photo online of the newest member of the college basketball team.  Damn, that Theo Duncan is one tasty morsel"

"Yes, he is quite attractive," agrees Gilles.  "According to Clifford the young man's underarms are tre magnifique!"

"Well, I can hardly wait to own a piece of him.  Remember, Theo has to be part of the collection.  If he's not, the deal is off and I'll be very frustrated," Oscar warns.  "So, don't frustrate me, Frenchy.  Remember, no man is ever allowed to leave Oscar Arco frustrated, in business or in bed. Capeesh!?"  The Frenchman apprehensively responds, "Oui monsieur."

He ends the call and hurries back to his studio.  As he approaches the room he hears the two college men giggling like little school girls.  When he peeks into the doorway Gilles is surprised to see a topless Theo standing on a white towel, with an arm raised, as Clifford paints the outline of a heart around his armpit using a paintbrush.  "Excusez-moi, boys!  Is everything okay now?"  

"Yes, I explained it all to Theo and now everything's peachy keen," Cliff gleefully informs him.  "I brought an electric razor in my backpack and we're about to clip some trimmings for his portrait.  Hope you don't mind that I borrowed a little red paint.  Just wanted to draw a boarder around his underarm, you know, so I won't cut out-of-bounds," he winks.

Gilles breaths a sigh of relief, "Fantastique!  Well, it looks like you have things under control, n'est-ce pas?  I'll give you two some privacy.  I'm going to change and walk across the street to the coffee shop for lunch."

In a kid-like tone, Cliff teasingly sings, "Say hi to Geoffrey!"

Gilles bashfully beams and exits.

"Who's Geoffrey?" Theo inquires while keeping his painted arm raised.

"I'm sure it comes as no surprise that our debonair, European arteest gets many a gay man giddy in the town of Pits-Burg," relates Clifford.  "However, only one fellow in The Burg gets Gilles giddy, and that's Geoffrey, the dashing head barista and owner of the coffee shop."

"Oh really!?" grins the player.

"Geoffrey"

"Now, keep your arm up, while I fetch the razor," Cliff instructs him.  He goes to grab the cordless trimmer from his school bag and turns on the motor.  The humming of the clippers echoes loudly in the room.

As Clifford approaches with the buzzing instrument, Theo speaks up, "I have a confession to make."

"You're ticklish?"

"Yes, but that's not what I want to tell you."

"You find me charming and sexy?"

"If you do say so yourself.  Jeepers, let me finish."

Attempting his best impression of an Irish priest Clifford asks, "Why sure 'n begorrah!  What is it you wish to confess, my child?"

"Well,... I've never had a guy touch my armpits before. It's kindda fun," Theo confides.  "So tell me, do you paint hearts on the underarms of all the gentlemen you barber?"

"No, only the SUPER SEXY ones," the smitten young man smiles.  He switches off the trimmer to get serious for a bit.  "And by the way, Mr. Duncan, you're the first person I've ever painted."  He stops to take in the beauty of the sweet man before him.  "Gosh, I look at you and I have a hard time catching my breath.  I've dreamt about you for years and years, now suddenly you're back in Pits-Burg, on the college team I work with, and standing here shirtless in front of me, in all of your gorgeous glory!  I can't believe I get to be this close to you, I get to touch you,... and wow, I get to trim you too!"  

"Soooo you find me SUPER SEXY, huh?" Theo shyly flirts back.  "But, is it me or just my pits you're interested in?"

"You goof, I'm crazy for you!" Cliff happily acknowledges.  "The fact that your underarms are ravishing is just icing on the cake!" he laughs.

An inquisitive Theo then asks, "Since I haven't met the team yet, are there any other gay guys on the basketball squad?  If so, do they get turned on when you streamline the bushes under their arms?"

"No, the rest of the players are without a doubt 100% heterosexual, and I make it a rule not to make passes at straight dudes," Cliff shares.  "Still, the fellows aren't too comfortable with an out and proud queer boy like me trimming their furry pits.  However, they always do what Coach Harrison instructs them to do.  Coach may be old and in poor health, but he's smart and knows how to win championships, so the guys just shut up and obey."

Cliff starts the razor back on, then stands slightly on tiptoes and steadies Theo's arm by placing his hand on the guy's smooth and well toned bicep.  The curious ballplayer inquires, "So what did the rest of the team say when you told them about getting all that money for their armpit hair?  Where they pretty cool with it?"

Clifford has an abrupt change in mood and turns the electric trimmer off again.  "Well actually..."

"Wait, you're joking, aren't you!?" questions Theo.  "Cliff, you did tell them, right?  You had to!"

"Well, actually no,... I haven't told them," he confesses as he puts down the clipper.

Theo chides him, "What the hell, Cliff!!!???  That's super shady and wrong!  You have to let them know!"

"Please don't be upset with me," Clip pleads.  "You see, I was afraid the guys would get all freaked out knowing some rich perv was buying armpit erotic paintings of the team that included everyone's actual pit hair."

The disappointed athlete quickly lowers his arm and admonished him, "Naw, Cliff!  I's just not right, dude.  You have to tell the squad everything before Gilles delivers the paintings to Arco for the event."

"But I know the guys and they're all gonna say no," Cliff reasons.

"You gotta do what's right.  They have to know the who, what and why of your plan," Theo urges him, staring right into his eyes.  "I'm sorry, but if you don't come clean to the teammates, you're not getting those clippers, another paintbrush, nor your hands near my pits."  The upset young man grabs his shirt and heads for the front door.

"T.J. wait!  Please wait!" Clifford implores.  "Without you the deal is off!  We desperately need your clippings to collect the two million!"

The door slams and a look of disheartenment comes over Clifford's face.  Not only does it seem the deal for the much needed money is gone, but so too are his chances of a relationship with his longtime crush.

Meanwhile, just outside the gallery, a brand new luxury car slows down as the passenger in the back seat spots a distressed Theo walking away.

[TO BE CONTINUED...]


All photos for this blog entry were found online.  Featured as my fantasy cast for this particular storyline are (pictured below, left to right) Robin James as "Clip", Nathan Owens as Theo, Gilles Marini as Gilles the gallery owner and Colton Ford as sexy mega billionaire, Oscar Arco.

BTW, that's good-looking actor Daniel Henney whom I've "fantasy cast" for the guest-starring role of Geoffrey, the owner of the coffee shop.  We'll see more of Geoff later.

Interested in additional, naughty underarm drama?  Simply click on the following yellow links to read related soapy stories: 


PACO & HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW, PAUL 
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#1)

PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#4)

PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#7)

PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#10)


TWINS DAVID & DARIO
PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#2)

PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#5)

PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#8)


PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera (#11)

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NOTE: PITS-BURG: An Armpit Soap Opera is entirely a work of fiction.  Any similarity to any persons (living or deceased) is strictly coincidental, and no identification of any kind with any such person is intended or implied.