Page 14 - Granny's Nose Knows Best

Granny's Recipe

At age 16 I had my first boyfriend.  We met while taking part in our high school talent show: he played "Classical Gas" as a guitar solo and I accompanied my cousin on the piano as she sang "You Light Up My Life".  Randy was a gorgeous, curly haired, Hispanic boy who'd already had sexual experiences with other guys, whereas I was a clueless virgin.

I was so nervous about our first date and wanted to entice my sweetie any way I could to make up for my inexperience. Well, after showering for our rendezvous I remembered some sage advice from the classic TV show, THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.  In one episode, Granny gave her lovely granddaughter, Ellie May, a peculiar dating tip.  She recommended that Ellie put a dab or two of Vanilla Extract behind her ears because, "It drives the fellas wild!"

Hmmmm!!!???  Well, I figured the advice was an old, mountain folk secret that would surely work on Randy!  Wasting no time, I wrapped a bath towel around me, hurried to my mom's kitchen, opened the spice cabinet and snuck a bottle of Pure Vanilla Extra back into the bathroom with me.  After opening the small bottle I began strategically dabbing the sweet solution behind my ears, around my underarms, across by chest and near my naughty bits.  To make sure the trick worked I doubled and tripled the dose.  By the time I finished applying the fragrant "love potion" to my body the entire restroom smelled like a bakery.

Unfortunately the scent of vanilla garnered no attention for my armpits from Randy, but "Well, Doggies!" it certainly got me attention in other, mighty fun regions!

"Well, Doggies!"

(Collage photos of "Granny", the optimistic lad and the bottle of Ode de Vanilla, as well as the pic of "Uncle Jed", were all found online.)


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